I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
