It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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