Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
