Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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