Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
