I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
