uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
