when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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