My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
