You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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