I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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