tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize