nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
