Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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