Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
