Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize