Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
