what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
