I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
