Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
