Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
