hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
