the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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