i just wanna soil my oats bro
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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