in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Floor bacon is actually really good
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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