If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
