Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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