FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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