i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I have peed in a lot of sinks
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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