Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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