So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
