I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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