He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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