someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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