I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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