Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
