called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
