Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
