That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
