There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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