i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The Olympian is in my bed
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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