I got chris browned last night
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Oh god it's open bar.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
