I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
