my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
