I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Watching her eat just hurts me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
