Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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