I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
