I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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