goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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