in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
