are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
