You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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