Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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