Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize