i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
