Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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