Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
