I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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