Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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