I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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