When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
