Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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