making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
