Umm I'm too high to move.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
