I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think my fart just growled at me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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