You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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