you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
