where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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