My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you would pick up someone in the library
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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