BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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