Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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