Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
