Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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