Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
