I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
