quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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