my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
