dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
