He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
