So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
