peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
