Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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